this is important.

not that I’m asking you to buy a game for a australian, but rather this is what I’ve been saying for years, and what a lot of people still do not understand.

the guy in this video said 90-100 dollars for a physical copy of a game, the actual price range is 90-130 nowadays.

this shit is fucked up yo, and if you arn’t angry, you obviousely arn’t australian and don’t care, but still. shit is bananas.

Just a friendly PSA: if you’re looking for a cheap 5 dollar game that’ll keep you entertained for a couple hours look up receiver in the steam store. and when you play it try to take it slow and soak in the controls. Trust me on this one guys, the game is a treat for anyone who apprieciates unique and well responsive controls in videogames.


nittany-tiger asked: I once boycotted Ubisoft for always-on DRM. I agree that Uplay is unnecessary and is just DRM in sheep's clothing, but I haven't had any problems with it yet. It's OK if you want to boycott them. In all honestly, I hate most of the AAA market now because it's overcommercialized, too full of shitty business practices, too full of overhype, and too full of draconian DRM practices. It's not worth $60 to be fleeced and punished for something that possibly not as fun as an indie title.


nittany-tiger asked: Ubi has done worse. Remember always-on DRM?

Yea, and Uplay isn’t any better. The fact that it even blocks basic programs that force changes in a game that help it perform better is bullshit. For the record I bought the game hardcopy, and really I didn’t have a single issue with that until it came time to install updates, which it’s still doing, one of them per start up.

ubisoft USED to be an ok publisher, now I’m going have to warn everyone to avoid their products like the fucking plague.

Ok sorry but, when was it exactly that I became a criminal? cause that’s what I feel like whenever I play anything from ubisoft. It infuriates me how much faffing about I have to do in order to simply run the game how /I/ want to, and most of that is caused by the simple fact that papa ubisoft can’t let me play by myself, no I have to be watched like a hawk, have to run their games through their shitty DRM and can’t just simply accept that I’ve paid money to them for a service, not to be treated like I’m about to fucking steal from then.

but you know what. their probably right, be right back while i go pirate all ubisofts fucking games from now on.

fuck you ubisoft.

Recently both the PS4 and Xbox One have been revealed, giving us a sneak peak into the roster of the full next generation, and finnaly having the two major competitors to the throne of ‘best console OMG lols’ finaly putting a foot into the ring that nintendo had already stepped three feet into (if you count going downloadable as a foot).

to celebrate the official last leg of the 7th generation of consoles I’d like to do a small list of my top faves of the generation. I invite my co-blogger serious rainbow and all our follows to give their take on the 7th generation, as it’s probably one of the most devisive generations since the PSX and N64.

Best console: those who know me will probably guess my ansewr as ‘PC’ but really, even though I got my PC during the 7th generation of gaming consoles, I don’t count it, it’s far too useful. your second guess might be the wii, you’d be wrong again. Even though I love my wii, motion controls and annoying menu navigation really bogged the whole thing down, no my top console is: the PS3. Really I feel like it was the console that was the most ‘solid’ of the three main competitors, it didn’t have the software and hardware issues of the xbox and it didn’t have the shitty control schemes of the wii….most of the time. Really I keep mine offline for the majority of time, and installing games never botherd me, as the majority of my games nowadays are on PC I’m used to installations. If i had to give one defining reason why I think the PS3 was the best overall console i’d have to say ‘sturdy’ the thing is a litteraly brick, the wii was always too petite, and the xbox felt like you could snap it in half, but the ps3 kept the playstation standard for tough as fuck console manufacturing, i think the saying really was true, the ps3 can deflect bullets.

best handheld: I’ll keep this short. the DS lite. The DSI was alright, and the psp i never got to try, but the DS lite was just such a vast improvement on the original phat DS, It was still sturdy and really well built and i just have the most fond memories of the thing, as it’s one of the first things i bought when I started a real job and I actually had my own money i could spend. mind you: never drop one in the toilet, it’ll brick it instantly.

best tripple A title: Now hear me out here: Assassins creed (yes the first one). Please hold your rotten vegitables until the end of my explanation; when I was a wee lad I had a sega master syster II as my first ever console, we had a total of two games on it including the built in alex kidd. when i turned about 7 or 8 the N64 was a big ticket item, something everyone wanted, I still remember going to toy world to pick it up, being so excited, then being bored out of my mind as my dad played formula 1 racing, a game we soon traded back for a better one, but we did have another game, 1080 snowboarding, and I loved that game, it was my first experience of the N64, and nothing could top it at the time, it showed me what that generation of gaming had to offer. fast forward a few years to when i was a teen, we’re getting the PS2, I’m a little bummed, I loved nintendo, thanks to many quality hours of entertainment, but my dad had his heart set on the PS2, and I guess i should thank him for that, because it was a good system to have. I remember the first game we played on that system, jack and daxter, I still remember the exact momment it clicked in my head, I was walking over the bridge, and it reacted to my characters movements, at that momment i knew it. “this is the next generation of gaming”. It would be a far few more years latter until i had that epiphany again, and it wouldn’t be the wii that did it, no ironicly it would be the xbox 360 and assassins creed. I remember that opening cinamatic, I remember getting through the tutorial and arriving at the first city of the game, I remember my first assassination, all breath taking, this truly was the seventh generation of gaming, and yes rooted mostly in how the game looked and how you traversed it seems like a shallow choice, with such boring reptitive gameplay, but I think the game truly deserves this from me, it showed me the possibilities the seventh gen could have, and really nothing else ever cought my attention the same, until (let’s hope) sometime in the near future.

best indie title: really there are far too many I have played, and far too many which are so good it’s hard to argue. So I’ve chosen limbo. Limbo is just one of those games I can go back to and finish in one sitting, and not be bored or frustrated at any point, the game flows so well it’s hard to not just go into a trance and simply experience what it has to offer. Limbo has my biggest recomendation for independant games this generation!

Best handheld game: This is so hard because I have such a limited palette to choose from, having only really ever experienced the nitendo DS. another major problem is i got rid of the majority of my games so i cannot simply look over my collection and pick a fair winner. So you know what? my list of top games, my rules. I’m cheating and putting Summon Night: A Swordcraft Story here. technicly part of the sixth generation of gaming as it was released on GBA, the release date is in 2006, past the release of the nintendo DS so it technicly counts as released during the seventh generation. summon night is a game i picked up and just couldn’t put back down again, it had solid combat, solid story, solid enemy design and you could make your own freaking weapons THAT WERE INFUSED WITH LIGHTNING. there were over 4 kinds of weapons to make guranteeing that any playstyle would be fit, and there was even durability ratings on weapons. Ontop of that the most challenging and rewarding aspects of the game were the one v one battles vs computer controlled humans, matchs that tested your heros weapon as well as his might, as a destroyed weapon was considerd a disqulification for the weapons owner. This was really the most outstanding RPG I have ever played, and I can say that with certainity, the art style, story, gameplay, music, EVERYTHING was just perfect, my only regret is never actually having bought the game and supported the developers, you can gurantee though if they ever release a 3DS game I will be first in line to preorder.

and finnaly: best overall game of the seventh generation of gaming:

I’m cheating again, I’m not putting one game here, I’m putting four:

fallout 3, fallout new vegas, arkham asylum, arkham city.

these four games to me represent the true modern classics of this passing generation of video games, the fallout games as the RPGS which had and have so much content you could play through them endlessly on a single file, and the arkham games the top of the mount everist of exploration and beat em up gameplay. While new vegas and arkham city i have not played too much of, they share enough simerlarities to their genisis that it would be criminal of me to leave them out.

these four games are the games I will return to ever few years for the rest of my life, and i will never get bored of them, I will never take them for granted, and you bet your arse in 70 years time when they are remade again for the 22nd generation of gaming, I will buy them again and experience them anew.

well that’s my list for the top consoles and games of gen 7, sorry it got a bit rambly, but again I invite our followers to submit their own tops, there are no wrong ansewrs and I will love reading everyones opinions.

I’ve been Quill, and that was Splash Damage.




*drags out soap box*


To lump in all modern intros as being completely railroading and saying all old video games were compelling, is just plain dumb. I realize that he says that Bioshock Infinite was an example of a modern game doing an opening right, but it was still implied that modern games suffer the same problem.

The first mission/couple hours of game play has ALWAYS been a boring tutorial that seems completely unnecessary for those that are aware of the controls, but is necessary for those that don’t. The exception is of course games where the control system is so simple that you can figure it out yourself. There have been many different ways to put the tutorial into the story, some being more engaging than others, but this is not something that just suddenly popped up to irritate gamers. Or have you forgotten Navi? Or rapidly pressing the B button to get through the walls of dialogue?

And the thing that irritated me the MOST is saying that “when we think nintendo, we think fun games, not fun stories.”

EXCUSE YOU. These are the same people that made Metroid Prime. These are the same people that made Legend of Zelda, it doesn’t matter which one, pick one. Except 2. Don’t pick that one. These are massively memorable engaging story-lines on top of excellent game play, and to say otherwise is ridiculous.

Some insight from another side of the argument on our last article.

The problem with modern gaming: the introduction.

Remember back whent he Nintendo 64 was cutting edge in 3D, where it had debateably better graphics then its disc counterpart the PSX? remember how you’d put in a game and be excited to play as the intro cutscene played? 3 minutes latter in most titles you’d be getting into a fun adventure, or good shooty action.

even earlier then that games just gave you a couple lines in a manual then tossed you straight into the action as soon as you pressed ‘start’.

modern games however have a problem, the explain too much.

I was playing luigi’s mansion 2 when I made this observation, it started harmlessly enough with a cute scene of ghosts helping egad, then king boo (king of the boo’s) destroying the dark crystal moon. Ok, got it, ghosts were good, moon crystal helped the fact, it’s gone now, ghosts are bad, fix the crystal, INTRO SORTED. Except it wasn’t, it decided to show me how luigi got into the situation…ok that kinda helps? I’d of easily assumed egad would of called luigi over, but i guess it’s nice to see luigi teleported to egads lab.

Ok, well, I know the story and how luigi got there now, I get my vacuum cleaner and flash light now right and I can get right into the game right? well no…first i have to have the whole plot explained to me a second time (I guess the game thought I got up to make a sandwhich or something?) and then I was sent on my way.

Here’s the first real problem with modern game intros, they arn’t engaging. If I’m bored by your game before I’ve done anything more then menu navigation then YOU’VE FAILED TO MAKE A ENGAGING EXPERIENCE. I’m sorry nintendo fanboys but this is a fundemental rule of any media: if you want to make a engaging experience you start from the start, not 15 minutes into the game.

I don’t need you to explain the plot to me twice (or even three times in some cases) before I start playing, that’s just gonna make me want to stop playing as soon as possible. And that’s not even getting onto my gripes about the tutorials that plague the first mansion.

I distinctly remember luigis mansion 1 had some simerler pacing issues, but at least you got to play the game for a bit and get a feel for it before you were talked to for 10 minutes about stuff you don’t care about.

but hope isn’t completely lost, we still have modern games doing it right, a recent example being bioshock infinite, while some may argue the game suffers different but just as bad issues with its intro, I don’t agree with that. Bioshock infinite is an example of a almost perfectly paced game, and the intro which lets you actually play within the first 2 minutes of ‘gameplay’ is nicely set up so that you always know which way you’re going so that you can set your own pace if you want to get into the shooty fun action times. it took me about an hour and a half to get to my first gun in the game, I was engaged the whole time by simply being in the game world.

so at the end of the rant what am I trying to convey? Really I’m just trying to convey my dismay with nintendo, a company revered for its engaging gameplay, not stories, yes they’ve made amazingly engaging stories, but let’s face it, when we think nintendo, we think fun games, not fun stories. The fact that I had to wait some maybe 10-15 minutes before I was allowed to play the game in its most basic form, and the fact that 80 percent of that time was egad telling me things i already knew from the introductory cutscene is a sad fact.

especialy since that introductory cutscene really did explain everything I’d ever need to know.

I’ve been Quill, and that was splash damage.

Gaming conventions I hate #53


When a character is dipicted as being more and more badarse looking when selecting a difficulty, this only serves to insult the person player and reflects nothing of the character in questions, bonus points if the easiest difficulty adds baby things to the characters or refers to the player as a baby.

I dislike this convention more then hate it though, infact the use of ‘babyfying’ the character I kinda like, sort of a deterent from going easy for some people, but yea it just irks me cause if you actually look what changes via difficulty it’s usualy your own effectiveness diminishing and your oponents increasing, meaning your character is LESS BADARSE in hard mode.

some games do do it right like I know some games describe default or easy difficulties as ‘your enemies fall against your might’

personaly i think a game with difficulty changes that make the game more fun/or make the game a different experience to easy are worth multiple playthroughs on all the difficulties, so insulting me for playing easy isn’t a smart thing for them to do.

also can we stop with the ‘new, sort of experienced, experienced” descriptors? fuckin seriousely, some people don’t play easy cause they are some new guy whose never played a game before in their life, most of us play games to relax or unwind, and higher difficulties on game we havn’t played before can add stress to this (for the record, kudos on CoD for the bump up but not down difficulty option, means if you get unchallenged you can bump it up, but you’re stuck there) sometimes at the end of the day you just want to experience a game, or get used to how a game works before challenging yourself with it (just cause all FPS are gun on the screen first person perspective shooters doesn’t mean they all have the same game feel, if you want a example of extreme difference in game feel try playing borderlands right after playing a half life game, or try playing a post 3 fallout game after playing call of duty)

game difficulties guys.

and now after typing all of that i feel like i should of saved that rant for splash damage. shit.

Us here at splash damage arn’t dead, just extremely lazy. 

SimCity Part The Second and Final: The Clustershart Explained Better

"There’s no ask button, but this is totally an ask: Do you think EA’s offer of a free game ameliorates their cockup with Sim City at all?"


Short answer: No.
Long answer: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Fun fact: I got called a “retard” for stating how I felt about the game by someone who:

  1. Probably never played the originals like I did.
  2. Claim I’m nitpicking and over-reactional.
  3. Offering little to none good valid reasons why not to be infuriated other than “It’s fun.”
  4. Bringing up piracy for no reason. :\
  5. The old “No one made you buy it.” argument.

I’ll put it like this: One of my friends “got” that new Walking Dead game, Merlenderl: Serververl Ernsternts. They’re not a big gamer like Quill and I are. They… actually had fun with it. Seriously. Does that mean it’s a good game?


Just because one person has fun with it doesn’t mean it’s a good game. SimCity 5 is enjoyable, I will admit that… but I’ve played EVERY SimCity prior to this one’s release. With the exception of SimCity Societies? Every one of those games is better than SimCity 5. Why?

Because they didn’t have the flaws that SimCity 5 has. And this is beyond “OMG, ALWAYS ONLINE DRM,” although EA should’ve taken notes from Diablo 3’s always-online DRM. (And yes, we should complain and whine about it. Watch the damn video. We are entitled to complain when we pay money for a game that requires Always-Online DRM and cannot play the game when we want to.) There are things that ruin the fun for me.

RCI is supposed to work like such: Residental fills the jobs of industrial and commercial, and later buy the things from commercial. There’s none of that in SimCity 5. Your sims don’t go back to their actual house, they just pick a random house. Traffic pathfinding is a fucking joke. The shortest path is chosen because it’s the shortest path, not the quickest path. (HELLO CONGESTION!) There’s the basis for a great game here… and it’s… not and it pisses me off.

On the subject of piracy… I’m with Jim Sterling on this one. Watch the videos.

And yes, no one made me buy SimCity 5. I chose to purchase SimCity 5 because I was a big fan of the last SimCity games made by Maxis. SimCity ‘89. SimCity 2000. SimCity 3000 Unlimited. SimCity 4 Deluxe. Those are ALL great games. This one? Not so much.

You really can’t defend this one, sadly. You may enjoy SimCity 5… but it’s not a good game. :\